Goode loves money

So, I found this lovely blog while I was trolling the internet yesterday. It is either the insane ramblings of the most vindictive person in the universe, a lame assignment thrown to a Goode staffer with less than a fully adequate grasp of the English language, or both. I figured that two should be able to play at this game, so I intend to provide regular updates to this blog with the inept things my congressman says and does that others notice on the internet. Does that make me the second most vindictive man in the universe? Well, I was always told that second place is the first loser.


This is what I had to say on my other blog about Virgil yesterday.

I've signed up for e-mail alerts from the Al Weed campaign. They gave me a heads up to a few choice things Virgil Goode had to say for himself at a recent candidate forum. According to the Daily Progress, this is how Virgil Goode explained his illegal campaign contributions, "He said I got nearly $100,000 in illegal contributions. Not so. It was about $46,000 that was straw contributions..."

The subject/verb agreement aside ("was" + "contributions"), Goode is using the "I robbed the bank with a toy gun" defense. And what, praytell, is a "straw contribution?" The website doubletongued.org explains, "His solution was to have his employees and their spouses make contributions …under their own names, then reimburse them—a technique known as 'straw contributions' that is a felony under federal election law"

Hmmmm...so what Virgil Goode is telling us is that he should be our congressman one more time because he draws a careful moral line between a $46,000 felony and a $100,000 one. What about $86,754? Where does that fit into your moral calculus, honorable Mr. Goode?

Of course, all of this is compounded by the fact that the city of Martinsville, which is already taking it up the unemployment hind end, gave MZM (the felonious "straw contributor") millions of dollars to locate its defense contracting bait and switch program in their area. A dishonest program that went belly up, costing not only the good people of Martinsville money, but, as Mr. Weed points out, taking away money from properly outfitting our good soldiers in Iraq. (Anyone remember the whole, "You go to war with the army you have?") Of course, all of this is made more mind-numbingly ridiculous by the fact that it is possibly the sole responsibility of Mr. Goode to keep this kind of FUBAR garbage from happening in the first place.

However, Mr. Goode has a smart@$$ play on Mr. Weed's last name to distract us. Mr. Goode's assertion that Mr. Weed, "must be smoking something like what he’s named for," makes me feel so much better about having a representative who is either a felon or has his head so firmly up his hind end that he can't tell a snake-oil salesman from a defense contractor. Shouldn't the whole "I was too dumb to know that I was doing something unethical and illegal" defense mean that one is too dumb to be an elected representative?